How to Find Out Whether Your Man is Fucking Some Other Ho

That might just be the most elegant and poetic title I've ever written. I'm so talented.

Okay, enough loving on myself (for now). Back to the topic.

I recently accidentally stumbled upon a nearly foolproof way to find out whether a man you're fucking is fucking some other slut.

This is what happened. I hooked up with someone, and I accidentally forgot my black bra at his place. I kept meaning to ask him about it, but I always forgot until I was back at my own place. WEEKS went by where I'd continue hooking up at his place but forgetting to ask him for my fucking bra.

Then I started wondering something - why hasn't HE mentioned to me that I had left my bra at his place?

And then the answer hit me. Because the motherfucker doesn't know WHOSE bra it is!! HOLY SHIT! He CAN'T ask me because if it's not mine, I'll know he's banging other twats!!

When I realized this, I was simultaneously repulsed and excited. Repulsed because I realized that other whores were licking his dick on my nights off. Excited because I realized that I can now figure out, with any man, whether there are other girls in the picture!



So what do you have to do? Simple. Wear a generic black bra that doesn't look particularly memorable and leave it in his bedroom. Don't leave behind one of your nice La Perlas because that would be a big waste of money AND the other hobags he's banging probably don't have as fine of taste in intimates, making it easy for him to connect the bra to you.

Also, don't leave the bra somewhere obvious where he'll see it right away the next day. Shove it under a pile of his own clothes or something, so that he won't stumble upon it until DAYS later, giving him enough time to bring other girls through his revolving door.

When he finally does find that bra, BOOM! He's going to have NO FUCKING CLUE which slut left it there!

And then you lie in wait like a predator. Don't ever mention the bra. Does he ever ask you about it? If he doesn't, then you've NAILED HIM!! He's DEFINITELY DEFINITELY DEFINITELY guilty of fucking other girls!!

God. I'm a fucking genius. A FUCKING GEEEEEEEEENIUS!

Should I join the CIA? I'd be SO good at it. Well, except for the fact that I find sharing secrets to be so much more fun than keeping them.

Good luck finding out whether your man is a scumbag! I hope for your sake that he isn't, but, statistically speaking, he probably is.


UPDATE: Just thought of a way to improve this tactic. If your man doesn't mention your bra for a few weeks, you should bring it up by asking, "Have you seen my black bra around here?"

He'll then say that he has and whip it out for you.

Then, fuck with him by saying, "That's not my bra" with the most serious facial expression you can muster.

Analyze the shit out of his face. If he flinches even the SLIGHTEST BIT, then YOU KNOW - your dude is banging other whores. BOOM!

You're welcome, bitches.