Danger: FOBS Fucking Amok

Until recently, I had nothing against Asian FOBs. I grew up with many of them, and my parents were once young Asian FOBs themselves.

But I’ve changed my mind. About the FEMALE FOBs, whom I now refer to as FOBS = Fresh Off the Boat SLUTS.

Why this sudden hatred? Because FOBS are total whores, and it’s affecting my already shitty love life!

I used to innocently wonder why I’d see hot non-Asian dudes with totally FOBby unattractive chicks, and now I know why: these bitches are FREAK-A-LEAKS! How do I know? Because I’ve heard from SEVERAL men who have a disturbing amount of experience in this area, and they’ve confirmed that these chicks will do ANYTHING to please a man. Dear God, NO ONE should do ANYTHING to please a man. Eradicating this concept should take priority over curing mother fucking cancer.

And so the lore of the Asian Fetish holds true – FOBby Asians look cute and innocent, but they actually ARE freaky, kinky, cheating whores.

Why does this affect me, despite the fact that I’m not a FOB? Because non-Asian people are totally retarded about differentiating between FOBs and non-FOBs, so when they meet me, they fucking assume that I’m willing to get breast implants and let four big white dudes gangbang me as they watch! WTF. As if!

I used to blame porn, but I now point my finger elsewhere – at the damn Japanese schoolgirl-looking hos who have never uttered the word “no” in bed. If any of you readers fall into this category, please memorize and use the following phrases the next time you’re in bed with a man (these are the things that the rest of us women don’t hesitate to utter on a regular basis):

- “Eww! Get off me! You stink.”
- “I’m not drunk enough.”
- “Not after the way I saw you checking out that dumb slut tonight.”
- “Do I look like a fucking whore to you?”
- “No. Only pornstars do that shit.”