Please don't rape me.

I'm beginning a Masochistic Craigslist Experiment in order to (1) see if Craigslist is a good place to try to find a man and (2) entertain you motherfuckers!!! Do you see how GIVING I am? I could be wasting time re-building hurricane-torn homes, but I instead choose to find innovative ways to inject your lives with laughter while simultaneously inserting mine with mortification.

Yes, I'll date creeps off the internet for fodder. I suspect that I'm opening Pandora's Box of Social Intercourse, but don't try to tell me that it's dangerous or that I'm crazy because I'll do anything for a good story -- even if it means jeopardizing my dignity, sexual health, and life. Also, I've already been raped once, and I heard it's not so bad the second time around. Kidding. Really. Everyone likes rape jokes.

One of my girlfriends tried this Craigslist thing before and received hundreds of photos of penises. So far, I've received about 50 responses with 0 penises. Shit! What did I do wrong? I mean, Thank goodness. Penises....ewwwww!

Over the coming days, I'll share with you some of the unbelievably fucked up responses I've received. And, of course, I'll tell you ALL ABOUT the dates (minus the "action" because a lady never tells, and obviously, I am a refined, classy lady).

Let's be excited. What wonders will Craigslist hold for us?!?!